


Home Sick

by it4dori



Category: Life Is Strange 2 (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Fluff and Angst, M/M, More of Finns backstory probably, Rating May Change, angsty Sean, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-18 10:42:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28741953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/it4dori/pseuds/it4dori
Summary: Sean has to find Daniel and as much as he feels resentment towards Finn he needs his help. He can't drive, not with his eye. He can't forgive him yet, so the road is silent and painful. He wants to though.Forgiving him and being able to forget everything that happened are two different things, Sean knows that.
Relationships: Daniel Diaz & Sean Diaz, Sean Diaz/Finn
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	Home Sick

The sight is almost sickly. Sean can feel his stomach churn, bitterness pushing at the back of his throat. He doesn’t have the energy to swallow the pain and disgust down, all he can do is bend at his stomach and vomit on to the sandy ground beneath him. His nose and mouth burn and tears are pearling in the one eye he has left. He nearly steps in the mess he just made. _It looked further away_.  A sob threatens to escape from his throat, anger and pain all swelling in his gut, making him feel like he could throw up again. He wants to turn back time, not just to before Finn convinced his mind that had already been clouded with lust to go along with what the older man was so sure was a genius plan. _No,_ he wanted to turn it back to October, so he could keep Daniel safe. Tucked away in his room, where no one could hurt him or take him away. Sean wants to go back in time just to punch the person he used to be. The person who wanted his little brother as far away from him as possible, he can’t even imagine that feeling anymore. That anger that used to bubble up inside of him when Daniel went into his room, now all he wants is that spoiled brat back. 

“Starin’ at it ain’t gonna’ make it go away.” Finn’s forearm fell over top the side mirror Sean had been bent over to stare in. His hand, covered in tattoos, protecting Sean from his own reflection. He was right, Sean knew that. There was no such thing as going back in time, he couldn’t change what he had done. Now he can only live with it, and pray to god that Daniel didn’t get too much of a head start. “Sit for me.” Finn walks around Sean to open the passenger door to the truck, the stolen truck. Sean abides, admittedly reluctantly because he knows the physical pain he’s about to endure. Finn seems to know too by the look on his face, sympathy, pity maybe. He had a cheap sewing kit and a bottle of cleaning alcohol, even some bandages. They would need more if Sean didn’t want a nasty infection but it would work for now. Pretty good for a gas station in the middle of nowhere. 

A heavy hand fell on his knee, the other cupping his jaw. Sean only tightened, his entire body tensed at the touch he could remember once daydreaming about. Finn tried to catch some eye contact but Sean couldn’t find it in himself to look at him, so Finn gave up. His hands leaving Sean’s body to work on opening the clear, plastic container that contained the materials they needed to stitch up his eye. Sean had worked on taking as much glass out as he could manage from the wound while Finn drove but it still wasn’t enough. 

Sean’s sure he had never felt this much pain in his life while Finn cleaned it with the rubbing alcohol. His hands tightening around his knees, knuckles turning white. He realized just how wrong he was when Finn began stitching it. His head pounds so aggressively against his skull and his stomach starts to rheel, he thinks he might just pass out from the pain. Tears pooling in his eye and as soon as he blinks it all falls down his cheeks. The warmth of the tears almost comforting. The hand that had been keeping Sean’s head was nice too, calloused palms familiar to Sean’s soft, dirt covered skin. Finn’s thumb swiped over those tears, the pathetic use of comfort replaced by something so much better. Sean let himself lean into the touch, just a little.

“Almost done, stay with me.” The anger he feels towards Finn is still there, the pain and heaviness in his heart is unavoidable but he can’t help but reach for the shirt Finn had worn almost everyday since they met. The fabric soft and warm from being worn so much. He never wants to let go, he knows he will when Finn’s done stitching him up. He knows he won’t be able to forgive him. He’s almost glad it hurts so much so he can cry over losing Finn too. They only had that one moment back at camp, chapped lips pressed into each other. Only to be followed by terrible, haunting memories. After a few strips of tape and a piece of gauze Finn cut off with his knife, it was over. “All done, sweetie. My best work I’d say. We should still try an’ find a clinic once it’s uh-- safe.” Sean’s fists fell apart, letting Finn go. The _‘we’_ ringing in his head. He’s not sure how much farther he’ll let Finn come along but Sean can’t drive, not now so he only nods and lets Finn hold his face for a little longer. Part of him hates Finn, hates him for ruining what was so good. He hates him for only being able to show his love, his devotion through stealing. A dumb heist. Another, bigger part of him still has those harbored feelings. Those confused thoughts, the moments he kept in the back of his head when Finn would reach out for him at the campfire. A hand on his shoulder or knee, those chaste touches that made Sean question everything he had been so sure of for so long. 

He doesn’t want to push him away, he wants him to stay around. To come to Puerto Lobos with him and Daniel. He knows he has to though, Finn just doesn’t know how to keep people safe. Even before, before the heist. He could never ask him to throw everything away just for some fleeting romance with a boy that could never truly give him all his attention. He couldn’t ask Finn to be a father to Daniel, to parent beside him. He won’t. 

So they drive in silence and the sky gets darker. Orange dust kicks up from the wheels of Big Joe’s truck and into the windows, there’s no air conditioning though so it’s not like they have a choice. Finn hums along to the radio, it’s a nice sound. The smell of Finn’s cigarette pushing Sean into a calmness he hadn’t felt in a long time. He wishes so badly he could enjoy the moment, ask for a hit. He can’t though, the heaviness of knowing Daniel’s is out there. Alone and with a gunshot wound, without his big brother to keep him safe. The little wolf is all by himself, with only his powers to keep the hunters at bay. 

“We should find a place to crash.” Finn taps his cigarette on the edge of the window, his eyes locked on the road. Sean knows he’s right, again. They’re only a few days behind Daniel and he’s a nine year old on foot, but it doesn’t feel right to stop. To let Daniel get farther from his reach.

“Okay.” Sean’s voice wavers with uncertainty within that one word, Finn can tell. The way he looks at him. 

Finn drives a few moments longer before pulling off the side of the road. Driving out a little further so the truck won’t be an eyesore to anyone who drives by. Just a small dot in the distance. When the music on the radio ends abruptly the air gets colder in the vehicle. Sean can feel a pair of blue eyes on the side of his head, he can see Finn’s hand impatiently rub at the key he had taken from the ignition. He’s waiting for Sean to say something, to do  something. Something that will make him feel better but Sean has nothing to give him so they sit in silence. 

“G’night, Sean.” His own name feels unnatural from his mouth, he’s gotten so used to the pet names. The unsuspecting flirting that took Sean far too long to grasp. Maybe if he caught on sooner they would’ve had more time together, now it’s awkward and any edges that had grown soft had become sharp and dangerous. Like they were both surrounded by broken glass, neither of them had shoes on and they both couldn’t risk getting cut again. 

Sean thinks maybe he can reach out to Finn but he doesn’t. He only rests his head against the window, and tries to sleep. Lets his eye fall shut, the sound of cars in the distance and Finn's soft breathing. He can feel his mind drift and his eyelid get heavier as Finn’s breathing slows, turns into soft snoring. The sound helps, like white noise. He misses the sound, Seattle. The cars and the neighbors. It’s just not the same at Claire and Stephan’s or even in Humboldt. He supposes nowhere will feel the same as home did, so he can’t hold onto it so tightly but it’s hard. To let go of his entire life, letting go of Karen, of Lyla, Ellery and Jenn. Letting go of Finn.

The weight of an arm fell over his waist, Sean lets it happen. Lets Finn bring him close. He wants to get mad, tell him he doesn’t get to do this. Tell him he can’t expect them to pick up where they left off now that the wounds were stitched up but he doesn’t. He’s too tired, or maybe too cold to yell at him. Maybe he needs it too badly, the touch. Daniel stopped needing him to sleep, Lyla wasn’t here to hug him or lean on his shoulder on the bus. Dad couldn’t pat his shoulders or push his hair back. Finn’s here though, he didn’t leave. Didn’t run away, he’s not sure if he can forgive him.

But he’d like to try.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


It’s even colder when Sean wakes up. He opens his eyes--eye, to find himself alone in the front seat. For moment he’s scared, panicked but then he sees Finn sitting on the hood of truck and feels stupid. A cloud of white smoke coming from him, he’s hunched over his lap. Staring at the sunrise. Sean could honk the horn, be a total dick but he doesn’t have it in him. He only stretches his legs before getting out. 

Sean’s timid about sitting on the hood, but Finn moves over. Sean tries to open his mouth but his throat grows dry. He doesn’t know what to say, or what to do. Where to start. 

Finn’s hand extends in front of Sean, the cigarette is almost down to the filter but he takes it anyways. He can’t remember the last time he had a smoke, Daniel hated it. Hated the smell. At the cabin was probably the last time, on the porch. When the heartbreak of losing his dad was still so fresh. When he wanted to scream and sob and now… now there’s only a numbness when he thinks of his dad. 

The smoke filled his lungs, a certain relief washing over him. The smoke forming a thin cloud, coming from his lips. The relief was short lived as he looked out on the road. All they had was a P.O. box number and a general area. Daniel could be anywhere, maybe he didn’t even try to find Karen. Maybe he tried to go back to Chris, Claire and Stephan. They’re just as lost as he is, but they have to try. The goal is still Puerto Lobos but they have a side quest now, sort of like a video game or something. Finding Daniel, and their story can’t progress without Daniel. Except the stakes are so much higher.

Sean hands the cigarette back, letting Finn have the last hit. “Should replace that gauze, clean it up some more.” Finn’s hand came up to move Sean’s face so their eyes could meet. A thumb swiping back and forth over under the old gauze, blood has probably leaked through the surface yet Finn only smiles, crooked and familiar. He didn’t throw up last night, when it was open and his face was covered in blood and dirt, when there were sharp shards of glass sticking from it. He only hushed him with sweet words and put him back together, and Sean was a brat to him.

“Thanks, man.” Sean reached up to hold onto Finn’s wrist, to keep him close. Finn's expression changed for a moment, his jaw falling open ever so slightly. Like he was expecting to just talk to a brick wall for the rest of their time together. However long that is. 

“‘S nothin’.” His voice comes out quieter then Sean is used to. It’s a nice moment and Sean doesn’t want to let it go, he can make it better. He wants to but his body seems to grow stiff. His brains telling him this is bad, that Finn’s dangerous and nothing but trouble but his heart is pounding against his ribs. Almost like it’s trying to get out, trying to get to Finn. He’s not this monster his mind has twisted him into. It’s naive to forgive him so quickly but Sean’s sixteen and he’s not going to let the first person who’s shown him this sort of affection go. So he leans forward, moving so their noses brushed against each other. Finn lets out a heavy sigh, his shoulders falling like a thousand pounds had been lifted from him.    
  


“It’s okay.” Sean’s not sure if it is but he knows Finn needs to hear it. 

Finn takes the first move so their lips can meet, Sean lets his eye shut. Sean can’t tell if it’s better than their first kiss, with weeks worth of pent up emotions bursting out within a few moments, both their minds clouded with adrenaline. Now it’s almost painful, they don’t have all the time in the world. When Finn asked what he was afraid of he had said  _ nothing _ . Now there’s everything to be afraid of but he still has to kiss him, now letting go of Finn will just be so much harder. That same aching warmth he felt at camp had turned into a chill, winding around his spine and heart, he wants to stay in this moment for as long as he can. They probably could if they wanted to but Daniel is the only thing that matters now. 

They fall apart easily. Their brows pressed together firmly. Finn’s eyes are shut so tightly that the corners crinkle, his lips curved down into something that isn’t quite a frown. He knows, he knows they don’t have that much time together. That Sean still doesn’t fully forgive him. They stay like that for a while, it could’ve been minutes. Sean’s too busy staring at Finn’s hand on his leg. Tattoos and rings, scars lining his knuckles and more recent cuts on that back of his palm.

He’s careless, and doesn’t think. Not about the important stuff but he needs him to get to Mexico. He needs him or Daniel will turn on him again, Finn was the only person who seemed to get to Daniel. When he speaks, Daniel listens and to be fair so does Sean. As long as Sean doesn’t let himself get carried away with the touches and confessions of feelings everything will be fine. They might even make it to the border, they have to. There’s no other choice. 

“We should ‘prolly head out soon.” All Sean can do is nod. Finn pulls away, his reluctance obvious in the way his touch lingers.

The ground seems to move from the heat when Sean looks into the distance. The road seems so far, so long. There could be miles in between him and Daniel, or maybe they already passed him. Maybe they’re driving away from him. Sean’s hands are shaking, his knees weak, like if he even tried to get off the hood he would fall to the ground. Finn’s here though, he would pick him up. So he hops off, onto the ground. Orange dust expelling from under his boots. He didn’t fall, but it would’ve been fine if he did. 

“Breakfast?” Finn asks, holding out an old box of cereal they had taken from camp before leaving. The kind with the stale marshmallows in it. Sean closed the passenger door behind him, taking the box from Finn.

“This shit has so much sugar in it, our teeth are gonna’ fall out or something.” Sean looked at the back of the box before pouring a good amount into his hand.

Finn only shrugged, “Worth it.”

**Author's Note:**

> finally writing something for my comfort ship :] i'm still super new to writing so bare with me if chapters come out slow or there's a lot of errors! and yes i did steal that line from tlou2.. + there will definitely be more dialogue in future chapters but i sort of wanted to just get out how sean felt?? idk


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